What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

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Why can't my adopted sister accept she is not part of my family because she isn't related? Why can't she stop calling my parents mum and dad?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Why doesn't speeding significantly decrease one’s commute time? I've done a lot of road trips and driving and have experimented by increasing speed by 10–20%, but somehow this never equates to arriving 20% sooner, even on clear roads.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Make Nazis afraid again!

How do women feel when they are in love?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Why is pure dopamine not a recreational drug? And if it was wouldn’t it be the most addictive and fairly side effect free?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Why are women attracted to ugly guys?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

My son died seven months ago at the age of 24 how do I know if he’s in heaven and can he see me and hear me and why have I not gotten any signs yet from him or Mom just not seeing the signs how do I know if he’s OK how do I know if he’s happy?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Is OnlyFans good or bad for the society? Why?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Why do the Republican city officials at Springfield Ohio continue to deny that immigrants are eating pets to sabotage the Trump campaign, even though immigrant pet-eating is now widely believed to be true?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

How do you find out who your handler is as a targeted individual?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

LSU baseball vs. UCLA game suspended on Monday night. Here's when it will resume - NOLA.com

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.